I Hope What They're Seeing is as Bright as You
by GeorgieDanosaur
Summary: Phil is left feeling alone after his girlfriend breaks up with him, but what happens when he meets Dan Howell in the park? Read and find out! Rated T for language. Includes KickTheStickz, Phan, and maybe a bit of NeriBedTime :D
1. Chapter 1

Rain thundered from the bland grey sky. Phil was sitting, marinating himself in the unpleasantness. It had been just fifteen minutes ago that his girlfriend, Carrie, had broken up with him. His phone lights up, indicating that he has got a message, but instead of reading the text, his rage got the better of him and he throws his phone on the the grass meters in front of him. Tears roll down his pale cheeks, dripping on to his shaking hands. His black hair clings to his tear-stained face, framing the exact shape of his skull. His head falls to his hands and he begins to sob.

After five minutes of uncontrollable sobbing he feels the hood of his coat lift up over his head.  
'You know, that's what they were invented for' He looks up to see a boy, only looking a couple of years younger than himself, smiling down at him. His brown, curly hair is covered by the hood of his coat, and his brown eyes appeared to have a happy kind of nature in them.  
'Oh and is this yours?' Phil finds his phone in his lap again. 'It looks pretty fucked after the rain, but a good friend of mine works in the apple store, he can sort it out, it should only be a little bit of water damage.' Phil looks up again to acknowledge the boy who had retrieved his phone, but his head soon falls back in to his hands.  
'Well, since you aren't going to say thank you, I'll just have to talk and talk until you finally accept that I have just stopped your phone from becoming broken beyond all recognition. I'm Daniel James Howell, I am 21 years old, I am currently working in the starbucks just around the corner, I live alone, uuuuh'  
'Please, I've heard enough' Phil lets a small giggle escape his lips at the stranger currently telling him his life story. 'Thank you for retrieving my phone'  
'That's quite alright, now I want you to come back to my house and warm up, then I will drive you home. I don't want you to catch hypothermia. As much is it may surprise you, I try to save people I don't know from dying in my presence!' Dan smiles, and the black haired boy gets up. A bit skittish about following a stranger to his home, he soon relaxes as the rain starts to clear and he walks through familiar streets. As they approached a big block of flats, Phil realizes that Dan lives in the same building, but instead of telling Dan, he just concentrates on getting in to the warm.

They enter Dan's flat, Phil long before noticing that Dan is the person who moved in directly above him about a week ago, the one who likes to play dubstep loudly and dance about to it.

After a cup of coffee and a change of clothes, Phil spots a stereo in the corner.  
'Nice stereo Dan. Say, do you like dubstep?' He decides to get a confession while he can.  
'No, but I like to play it loudly to annoy the people below me'  
'Interesting. So, I haven't seen you in the starbucks before, how long have you been in London?'  
'About a week. I got the job yesterday' Phil feels proud that he got a confession out of Dan before even telling him anything. 'Anyway, I don't know anything about you!'  
'Basically, I'm Phil Lester. I live alone. I work in tesco's. I was in a relationship, but she broke up with me, hence the crying mess sat before you' Tears fill his eyes again. He realizes he must look awful, eyes red and puffy with tears rolling down his face and snot coming from out of his nose, but he doesn't really care.  
'Ah, well Phil, since we are obviously friends now, do you have twitter?'  
'That I do, its at amazingphil...you know, because Phil is amazing' The younger boy laughs.  
'Okay well amazingphil, I think it's time for you to go home, it's getting late. You can return the clothes when you can, and follow me on twitter when you get home please?' Dan flutters his eyelashes, and Phil agrees.  
'Fine, fine. Let's go. I want to get home!' He smiles devilishly with his plot to catch Dan red-handed. Both boys walk into the lift, and Phil presses the button to go one floor lower.  
'Uh, why are you going down there? I thought you wanted to go home' The black haired boy just smiles in response. They get out of the lift, and Dan just stand, confusion covering his face. They approach the door of Phils flat. By this time Dans face had gone from confusion to downright bewilderment. Phil unlocks his flat, and steps inside. Dan just stands in the door, his face now completely changed to 'Oh holy shit-fuck'.  
'It's okay, I like dubstep' And with that, the door closed.

**Bit of a crap first chapter, sorry. I really don't know where I'm going, I'm debating whether to make them best friends or make an 'eventual Phan' story. R&R, and let me know what you think, the chapters will get longer, this is just an opener.**

**Oh, and make sure you stay healthy, and do some...I dunno, trigonometry or something. THE POWER OF TRIANGLES! Byesies :D**

~Georgie~ 3


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi there! I have just got back from Paris and it is now the holidays. I am a little bit annoyed because I was in the city of love and lights with the boy I fancy and nothing happened but apart from that I had a really good time! It was so pretty! So now I'm going to write this and then I'm going to watch ASDF Movie 6 for the twelfth time. Don't die...oh, and do the flop! ~Georgie~ **

Phil woke to the sound of Lemongrab on his phone.  
_Who is tweeting me at this time in the morning _He thought to himself. _This is unacceptable._ He giggled at the pun he just made. Luckily his phone wasn't too damaged from the water, it still works, but not as well as it did.  
***Side note, in case you didn't realize, the sound on his phone is Lemongrab saying 'UNNACCEPTABLEEEEEE' and it is the sound his phone makes when he has a twitter notifcation. Proceed.**

_ Danisnotonfire has followed you.  
danisnotonfire: AmazingPhil So, fancy hanging out today? It's sunday so I'm going to assume you're not at work._

AmazingPhil: danisnotonfire I'm not at work, lucky for you. I'll be at yours in 10.

_ danisnotonfire: AmazingPhil yes you bloody well will. I'm bored as_ fuck!

Phil jumps into action. He showered when he got home last night, so he's clean enough. He throws on a red checkered shirt and skinny jeans, pulls on his white trainers, then grabs his jacket and phone and leaves.

'Oi, get your ass off of whatever you may be sat on and let me in, I look like an idiot!' Phil shouts through the door after 10 minutes of banging.

'Alright! Alright! I was having a shower! Hold your horses!' He hears a voice shout back. The door is opened by a topless Dan. Phil's eyes fall immediately on Dans tanned chest. His abs were highlighted by the light from the hallway where Phil stood. Then he looked up again. Yesterday, because he was in a state, he never really took the time to appreciate just how good looking this boy was. His brown eyes could outshine any star. His hair was wavy, and it outlined the shape of his face. His lips were pink and plump. They looked very soft.  
'You remind me of my first boyfriend' Phil blurted out without thinking. Dans face changed from happy to shocked, and Phil covered his mouth when he realized what he has said. There's no lie that Phil was attracted to this boy, and it wasn't a secret that he was bi, but the fact that he said that to someone he barely knows just embarrassed him completely.  
'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.' Phil manages to speak words.  
'Oh it's okay, no harm no foul. Coffee?' Dan smiles brightly, and you could tell from his eyes that it was genuine. Phil follows him inside and sits down on the sofa where he was crying just yesterday. Dan shouts at him, asking what he takes.  
'Milk, two sugars, thanks Dan!' He gets out his phone and sends a text to his best friend PJ.

[Phil]-10:37am  
Oh god, remember Anthony Padilla from year 10?

The reply came almost immediately.

[PJ L.]-10:38am  
How could I forget? Isn't he the one that helped you come out, then cheated on you with that other guy. Ian, I think his name was

*Side note* I know smosh are american, what do you take me for, some kind of peasant? But for the purpose of this story, they are english. Proceed.

By this time Dan has returned to the sofa with a tray of coffee and biscuits.  
'Thanks Dan'

[Phil]-10:40am  
Yeah, that guy. Well I met this guy yesterday after Carrie dumped me and he looks a lot like Anthony. Little but younger, but seriously, it's uncanny!

'Who ya texting' Dan asks nosily.  
'Nosy bugger! My friend PJ if you MUST know!' Phil replies, receiving a giggle from Dan.  
'I have a friend called PJ. He's a bit of an idiot though, he keeps talking about this guy he's in love with. Won't even tell me his name! Don't get me wrong, he sounds like a stand-up guy, and I'm not one to get in the way of true love, but I wish he would shut up!' Dan laughs at how ridiculous he must sound, getting angry over his best friend being in love.  
'Awh shush Dan, it's cute! Anyway, it can't be the same PJ, because my PJ is straight'  
'Fair enough. All of my friends are gay, It's just easier that way, although, I'm also best friends with my PJ's roommate, and he is just perfect. I just can't tell him, it's too scary!' Dans face falls from happy to sad, and Phil makes an attempt to help.  
'It's okay Dan, I know how hard it is to tell someone you love them, I was in love with this guy since year 8, Didn't tell him till year 10. All you need to know is that no matter what happens you will always have those people who support you throughout it. That's what motivated me to be able to tell him. Just think about that' The black haired boy spoke rather quickly, as if to say 'I'm not comfortable in this situation'  
'Thank you Phil, you know what, you're right! I'm going to invite him over and tell him. You don't mind do you? I mean, I kind of want you here for support, it's a bit weird but I don't have anyone else'  
'That's fine! I understand! Ring him now'

One phone call later and both boys are sat on the sofa. Ten minutes later there is a knock at the door. Phil saw Dan tense up.  
'It's okay, I'll answer it' Phil opened the door, but what was waiting was a big surprise...

**Bit of a shit chapter sorry, I wrote it in a rush. It was fun to write :D  
**DFTBA


	3. Chapter 3

**Head...exploding...so many...IDEAS...**

'Chris!' Phil exclaimed as he opened the door to reveal one of his best friends stood before him. This boy was Phil's openly gay best friend who lived with another of his best friends, PJ.  
'Wait, Dan, is this...' Dan nodded as a very shocked Phil put two and two toghether.  
'Dan, quick question, this PJ guy, is his last name Liguori by any chance?'  
'Yeah!' Phil turned to look at Chris  
'What the hell is going on? How do you know each other? What about PJ? WHAT?' The look of confusion on the boys face was somewhat comical.  
'Dan, good luck with the thing, I need to go and...do a thing'

Phil ran out of the flat before Dan could reply. He ran as fast as he could into the lift, out the apartment, through familiar streets and to PJ's house. He knocked rapidly and loudly on the door.  
'PJ, it's Phil, I need to talk to you! Open this door now!' The door is opened by a rather tired looking PJ. His eyes are red and puffy, indicating that he has been crying. Phil pushes past PJ and makes his way to the living room.  
'Please, come on in' PJ shouts sarcastically  
'Save the chit chat, I want to know why I was just listening to Dan Whatever-his-last-name-is tell me that you're as gay as the day is long?!' PJ winced at the harsh metaphor.  
'Sorry, that was a bit harsh, but still Peej, how could you not tell me? Do you not trust me? Do you think I would hate you? Because if you did then you clearly don't know me very well!'  
'No Phil, it isn't like-'  
'Oh it's never 'Like that' with you is it? It's always 'No, I meant this' or 'No, it's not how it looks'. I have told you everything about me! You were the first person I told about me being bi, about my sister having cancer, about my dad being in prison, but obviously my trust was wasted because you couldn't even trust your BEST FRIEND with something that could potentially be your biggest secret?!' It's no lie that Phil was angry, but he was also upset that he obviously couldn't be trusted.

What PJ said next though shocked him.  
'You think I didn't want to tell you? The whole twelve years we have known each other I have been so head over heels in love with you that I spend every waking second cursing my damn bad luck that you are never going to feel the same way! That's why I didn't tell you! I would rather keep these feelings in than tell you and risk losing you forever! But now I've told you and you know the truth. Don't say that I can't trust you, I've wanted to tell you this whole time' Then he lunged forward, catching Phil's lips with his own. Twelve years of suppressed feelings had lead up to this moment. But instead of Phil kissing back like PJ had always dreamed, he pulled away.  
'Peej, you could never lose me! But I'm sorry, I don't think of you like that. I mean, I'm grateful that you were honest, and now I know we can help you get over it. You're a good looking guy, I mean, I had a bit of a crush on you when I first met you, and one day you will make some guy very happy. But it's not me' The guilt is obvious on Phils face.  
'Thanks, Phil. I'm sorry I kissed you, it was a bit uncalled for, and now that I know how you feel I can get over it. I think the reason I didn't move on for so long is because somewhere deep down inside I thought you might feel the same way. Anyway, enough with the depressing stuff, wanna play Sonic?' The boys hugged and then sat and played Sonic, as if the last fifteen minutes didn't happen.

**Meanwhile, at Dan's flat.**

_That bastard, _Dan thought to himself, _He said he would support me!  
_'So Dan, are you going to tell me why you invited me over?' Dan had completely forgot Chris was still stood in the doorway.  
'Oh yeah, Uh, Chris, come on in! Make yourself comfy, I'll put the kettle on!' Dan bustled around in the kitchen, fetching cups and teabags and milk and sugar and custard creams, arranging them on a tray, then joined Chris on the sofa.  
'So, how do you know Phil?'  
'Chris, shush, I need to talk, and I'm actually really scared about what I'm about to say, so just bare with me. I love you. That's basically all I wanted to say. Hm, maybe it wasn't as hard as I thought. Yolo, right?' Dan tried to make light of the situation by using a bit of ironic humour.  
'Well, I really don't know what to say...except, actually there is one thing'  
'A-and wh-what's that?' Dans nervousness got the better of him, and he barely managed to get out that sentence.  
'Oh, just that I have been waiting for you to say that for ages.' Chris smiles and leans forward. Dan does the same. Collision. Dan had always dreamed of his first kiss with Chris. In films he always saw that two people in love had fireworks, so that's what he assumed. However, there were no fireworks. Dan wondered to himself why he couldn't feel them, but he just guessed that it was just a cliche movie thing.  
The kiss became more passionate, and Dan thoroughly enjoyed it. Then Chris pulled away.  
'Well. I enjoyed that. What about you?' They both smiled at each other. Then Dan's phone vibrated.

[Phil]-13:23pm  
Courage  
-Phil

Dan smiled. At least Phil didn't forget him.

[Dan]-13:25pm  
Thanks Phil, come to mine tomorrow, I really want to spend the day together like we were going to anyway! :)  
-Dan

[Phil]-13:27pm  
Definitely, I'm going now, playing Sonic with the Peejmeister. Byesies! ^_^

'Peej has just text me saying that he is kicking Phils ass at Sonic and Phil is getting annoyed, and he wants me to calm Phil down. I'll be back tomorrow though!'  
'Ah not tomorrow, spending the day with Phil. Wednesday?'  
'Sure, oh and Dan. Will you be my boyfriend? Nearly forgot to ask!'  
'Of course!' The boys share one more passionate kiss before Chris leaves.

Dan makes himself a sandwich, some popcorn and sits on the sofa to watch whatever film is on the telly. He sighs, discontentedly. He was disappointed with the lack of spark there was between himself and the boy he thought he had been in love with. He's shared more spark with one person that he hadn't even kissed. Yet...

**This was meant to be a cliffhanger but it's a bit too obvious. I really hate my writing in this chapter but I have so many ideas for the next few chapters, and I'm too impatient to have a schedule for uploading. R&R, DFTBA, uuuh, I'm a nerdfighter (No shit) (REFERENCES)**

DON'T DIE! YOU GUYS ARE ALL REALLY SWEET AND I WANT YOU TO STAY SWEET, AND IF YOU DIE YOU WILL SMELL (Probably not very sweet. Unless you drowned in a vat of syrup. Death by syrup, there's a number one bestselling novel)  
LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

Follow me on twitter if you want to talk to me, we could be rainbow friends! GeorgieDanosaur

REGHIBWEGEBFBSDGJVNSDK

**~Georgie~ **

** xox**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't updated in TWELVE BILLION YEARS, my laptop broke, and I've been working REALLY hard on the next few chapters, they're hopefully going to be super awesome ^_^ Enjoy this chapter, and I'll go back to listening to One Direction, tweeting and eating :3 DFTBA ~Georgie'xo~**

*Chris POV*  
I run out of Dans flat, down the lift and out of that building as fast as my trembling legs can take me. As I walk down the busy London streets, I can't help but smile. I've just made out with the boy I have been in love with for like a year, since I first met him over twitter. To think, if we weren't such fangirls over Shane Dawson we may never have met! Seriously though, the sparks were flying here there and everywhere, like fireworks...with rabies...on crack...on Gay Fawkes night...what the fuck is this metaphor? Anyway back to the matter in hand, I. JUST. KISSED. DANIEL. FUCKING. HOWELL. I am just in a daze, all the way home, barely noticing the explosion of sound erupting from my phone.

[PJ]-2:47pm  
Hey Chris, Phil has left but would it be okay if you hung around at Dans or something? I just need some time alone. I'm quite upset at the moment.

[Chris]-2:49pm  
Oh my god that's great! I mean, that I need to go back to Dan's not that you're upset...Oh I know what I mean.

He didn't text back after that. I don't care. My legs spin round on their own accord. I find myself walking faster and faster.

*PJ POV*

Once Phil leaves I have no reason to stop the tears from pouring. They pour and pour, but no amount of tears can wash away the sadness I'm feeling. Chris is going back to Dans and Phil is going home, so I have the house to myself. If I remember correctly, Chris has just stocked up on my favorite kind of ice-cream; Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. One giant tub of ice-cream and one giant spoon for one giant failure. That's all I am. Just a great big failure that will never be loved by anyone. The tears are coming full force now, and I make no attempt to wipe them away.

*Warning, from now to the next set of stars will be self harm. If you don't like, skip this bit*

Then I remember the thing that has got me through the last twelve years. A little box under the sink, with a sharp silver object inside. I run to the bathroom and grab the blade from its place hidden right at the back of the cupboard. It finds it's way to my arm, and I drag it up. The blood trickles out of the new wound, and I open up some old ones. I then sit on the floor with my knees pulled right up to my chest (Something not a lot of guys can do) and cry. I cry for the last twelve years. I cry for the years yet to come. I then find my eyes fluttering shut.

*Chris POV*  
I get three quarters of the way back to Dan's and then remember that I had forgotten to take my lunchtime tablet for my migranes. I know PJ told me not to go back but he'll be in his room. All I need to do is grab my tablet from the bathroom and then I'll be gone. It's a lot of walking but the weather is nice for once in english history, so it isn't as bad. My legs spin around for the second time today, and I make my way back home.

I arrive outside my house within 15 minutes, and get the keys out of my pocket. I open the door and proceed to the bathroom.  
'PJ?! PJ WHAT HAPPENED?!'  
'Ngh, Chriiiis' PJ moans groggily. His arms are covered in scarlet red blood.  
'PJ Why?'  
'Phil doesn't love me' He cries into my chest.  
'Right, you're going to the hospital' I try to lift him up but he resists.  
'No, please Chris!' His eyes widen, and he looks so helpless. I run to the first aid box and grab the alcohol wipes and bandages.  
'Fine, but if it keeps bleeding then you're going!' He nods at me. I bandage up his arms and help him to the sofa. He rests his head on my chest and cries. I rub comforting circles in his back, but carry on letting him cry. He needs to get it all out, rather than bottling it up after all.

*Third person; Dan*  
Dan sits on the sofa in the silent room, still confused about his feelings for this boy. Maybe their friendship was just so strong that it made him think it was love. Chris makes him happy, but was it really love? Maybe a new friend he made willl help him figure it out.

[Dan]-3:11pm  
Hey Phil, can you come over A.S.A.P. I need advice!

[Phil]-3:13pm  
Of course, I'll be there in 10!

Dan didn't text back after that. Instead he just sat back and collected all of his thoughts. His head was in a muddle and he was so confused that he might legit burst into tears.

After 10 minutes of intense thinking, there was a knock at the door. Dan groaned and got up to open it.  
'Actually bothered to get off your ass this time then' Phil laughed, as if Dan would find that funny.  
'Haha, sooo funny. Where do you get your humour?' Dan laughed sarcastically. 'Just get in here' Phil walked through the door and sat on the sofa. Dan joined him.

'So Phil, I asked you to come so I could get some advice. Basically, you know Chris came round, and I told him that I was in love with him. Then we kissed, but I didn't feel anything like I should have. He looked pretty happy when he left and I just couldn't look at him because I felt like maybe our friendship was just so strong that it made me think I was in love. I don't know what to do Phil! What do I do Phil?' The brunette felt weird for sharing his secrets with someone he only met yesterday, but he felt like he trusted Phil more than he's ever trusted anyone. Phil pulled Dan into a hug, and his body completely relaxed.  
_Weird _Dan thought to himself, but he soon shook it of.  
'It's okay Dan. I know you might not want to hear this but if you're wondering whether it's love or not then it probably isn't. I think you should just call it all off. But that's just my opinion' Phil was worried that he'd said the wrong thing, so when Dan smiled up at him, he relaxed.  
'Thank you Phil. You're right, I'll call him later'  
'Oh crap, it's mothers day tomorrow and I still haven't gotten a present. I'm sorry to ditch you again but I really don't want to go to hell' Phil caught Dans eyes in his own, and in that moment time stood still. Then both boys began leaning in. Then Phil pulled away.  
'So yeah, uh, by Dan, I'll see you...uh...tomorrow. Yeah? Uh...bye' He backed into the door and left. Dan sighed and leaned back again. He grabs his phone, ready to make a phone call.  
'Hi Dan!' Chris' voice was so happy. It killed Dan.  
'Uh Chris, hi, listen, about what happened earlier. I told you I was in love with you, but when we kissed I just didn't feel the way that I should have. I'm sorry, I just think that our friendship was so strong that it made me think it was love. Phil helped me realize that if I wonder if I'm in love then I'm probably not. I'm sorry Chris' The line went dead, and Dan cried. He may have just lost his best friend, he's allowed to cry!

*Chris POV*  
Dan just ended the relationship before it ended and I just couldn't speak. I'm not going to cry because that shows weakness. What I am going to do though is go and give Phil a piece of my mind. Who the fuck does he think he is, telling Dan to break up with me?! What's it got to do with him?! PJ is asleep so I creep quietly out o the house. Then I break into a run. I sprint down the road, dodging people on my way. I arrive at the road crossing, realizing that Phil is just crossing there, so I wait.  
'Hey Chris!' Phil smiles innocently at me.  
'Who do you think you are?! Telling Dan to break up with me because you want that dick all to yourself. Well I hate to break it to you but the only dick you'll be getting is your dads!'  
'Listen here Chris, I helped him. He was confused about his feelings for you, and he told me himself that he didn't think it was love. I don't want him all to myself, we've only just met for fuck sake!' Phil barely ever says any cuss words other than crap, so I know he must be mad.  
'That doesn't give you the right to tell him to break up with me! It's nothing to do with you so just keep your nose out!' I push him, harder than intended into the road. Then, a squeal of brakes. A big metal object. A thump. A scream. A pile of Phil, hunched on the floor. A cry.

**Longest chapter yet! My writing is shit in this chapter but I've been procrastinating about writing this and it's finally done!  
****R&R!  
****UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GHCARD**

**Review for magic llama rainbow things.  
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee**

**~Georgie'xo~**


	5. Chapter 5

I run to the lump of Phil lead on the floor. I grab him and pull him so he's sitting upright. Yes eyes are shut but his chest is moving up and down. Quite a crowd had gathered now, and someone was phoning 999. Nobody asked what happened or anything, and the driver didn't see me push him, but that doesn't make me feel any less guilty. I hold Phil in my arms and gently rock him back and forth, stroking his hand with my thumb. The ambulance arrived in record time, and they loaded Phil inside. I climbed in after them, and while they were performing various tests on him his hand never left mine. My phone vibrates, indicating that I have a text.

[Dan]-3:37pm

Listen Chris, please just don't hate me for this. I hope we can be friends.

I need to tell him about Phil.

[Chris]-3:42pm

Dan, just not right now. Phil just got hit by a car and I just can't be dealing with this right now.

Thank god for autocorrect, because my hands were shaking so much that if it wasn't for autocorrect that text would have made no sense. I get a reply almost immediately.

[Dan]-3:43pm

Oh my god! I'll borrow a friends car, be there in 10. You tell me as soon as you get there and ill come and see you!

I don't feel like I need to text back to that, so I carry on stroking Phils hand, all the way to the hospital. We rush into the ward, and I am told to sit in the waiting area. I send Dan a text telling him where I am and no sooner have I sent the text a very upset looking Dan appears as if from nowhere.

'Is he okay?' He breathes.

'He's breathing, but he's not awake. It's my fault he got hit Dan! I pushed him in front of the car! It came round the corner quickly I didn't know it was there! Dan what am I going to do! I'm going to get arrested!' Dans warm arms snake round my neck.

'Shhh sh sh. Chris, its not your fault! You didn't see the car, you didn't know it was going to hit him! Don't panic! Phil will be fine!' At that moment a nurse walks out and we both stand up.

'Is he okay?' We say in unison.

'He's in a coma, but he's still breathing. I'm afraid there is nothing we can do to get him out of a coma, and there's no way of knowing how long it will last. Could be anything from a day to a few months'

We look at each other then back at the nurse.

'Can we see him?' Dan says, and she motions for us both to step inside the room.

*Dans POV*

He looks so small and fragile. His face has lost the natural charm it had when we first met. He looks so peaceful, and almost...cute? No shut up Dan, you can't think that. Chris is whispering in his ear something I can't hear. The only words I can hear are 'sorry', 'car', 'push' and 'Dan'. Wait...Dan? Why is he talking about me? His words are muffled so I can't hear what they are talking about. Then he stands up and walks over to me.

'I can see by your eyes that your smitten with him. I just hope that you know that if you date him, I'll be there constantly, doing all I can to ruin your relationship just like he did for us' There is something sinister in his smile that made me feel uncomfortable.

'What? I'm not smitten! I barely know him, how could I be smitten?' He looks at me, giving me a kind of 'that's what I want to know' look, then walks away. I sit on the seat next to Phil and Chris sits on the seat at the other end of the room. I go to grab Phils hand, then change my mind when I realize Chris is watching and pretend that I was going to fix his pillow. I sit next to him and lean in to whisper to hom.

'It's okay Phil, your in a hospital, they know what they're doing. You'll be out in no time and we can play sonic together, and we can be best friends, but only once your out' the beeping coming from Phil's heart monitor stops, and I panic. I run in to the hallway.

'Nurse! Nurse! His heart thing stopped!' A very pretty nurse with very curly blond hair runs down the corridor. If I wasn't gay then I'm sure I would find her very attractive, but that's not the thing to be focused on right now. She runs into the room, takes one look at the bed and gasps.

'Carrie?!' Chris is next to gasp, obviously recognising this nurse, but clearly she knows Phil as she's now crying by the side of the bed. Another nurse runs in. This one is quite young with long, light purple hair. She is closely followed by a male doctor. He is tall, tanned and his hair is styled to look like he's just gotten out of bed, but it looks really good.

'See Z, this is why we were trying to keep Carrie AWAY from this room. Anyway, you all need to get out, we need to perform a few tests on him' We all exit the room, Chris with his arms around this Carrie girl, me trying not to let tears fall from my eyes because if they did then Chris would take that as a sign that I care about Phil. Which I do, but he can't know that.

We both manage to calm Carrie down, and I grab her a cup of coffee, and me and Chris both a cup of tea. As I am just about to turn the corner I hear Chris say my name.

'So Carrie, you still love Phil I'm guessing? And I still love Dan, so we need to keep them away from each other, so what we're gonna do, because I know that Dan has a diary about things he likes in a boy, we're gonna make me like that so that he can't resist me and Phil will have no problem going back to you, that way we both get what we want' I decide to take that moment so shuffle my shoes to make it sound like I've only just got to the corner, then I turn the corner and take my seat next to Chris. I pass them their drinks and Chris looks at me innocently.

'I'm sorry I got mad at you, is the offer still open for us to be friends?' The inner me smiles devilishly.

'Of course!' I hug him and sit back. I place my empty cup in the bin and lean back. My eyes flutter shut, and I fall into a dreamless sleep.

I am awoken from my slumber by the sound of slurping. I turn my head to see a boy there. He has blond hair and gorgeous eyes!

'Sorry, did I wake you' he smiles at me, his face lighting up. I smile back, this boy has got some kind of charm that makes me happy for some reason.

'Yeah, but its fine'

'I'm Charlie by the way' he holds hand out for me to shake. I take it.

'Dan'

'So, Dan, what brings you to the hospital?'

'I needed to buy a computer. Why do you think I'm here? I'm visiting a friend'

'Ah. Well my friend Alex has a crush on one of the nurses so he broke his own hand. He's a bit of a strange character, doesn't seem to realise he can just find her on facebook. I think he needs to get his head checked or something' I can't help but laugh at him.

'Uh, visitors of Phillip Lester?'

'That's me, I don't know where Chris is though' I stand up.

'Well the other boy who was here went home like an hour ago. Bit of a dick that one' I nod at him then look back at the nurse.

'Hi, I'm Nurse Edwards, your friends nurse. This is Doctor Malik. I'm afraid there were some complications with your friend Phil, and he may not make it through to tomorrow. I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but someone has to right? He is awake now though, so if you want to go and see him, he's right through there' I can feel the tears fall from my face as I rush in to his room.

'Phil!' I run over to him and hug him. He smiles at me.

'I'm sorry Dan. I'm sorry that our friendship has to end before it even began'

'Phil, that's utter nonsense, why are you apologising?! It's not your fault that dick pushed you in front of a car is it?!'

'But it is Dan. If I hadn't have given you the advice to break up with him-' I press a finger to his lips.

'Then I wouldn't be dating the one person I want to the most. But now I can't even do that. Now visitors tome is over soon and I have to go, so I'm going to make our last few minutes together as special as possible' I wipe away the tears from my face and smile at him. I lean down and place a kiss on his forehead, then his cheek, then the tip of his nose, and finally on his lips. It didn't last long but it was the perfect way to say goodbye.

'Goodbye, Phil. I'll never forget you' my voice goes high and the tears fall freely from my face. Somehow it still doesn't feel like goodbye. His eyes flutter shut, and he breathes three last words;

'I love you'

**I'm not really sure how long this is, but it's long enough to get the right amount of detail so firetruck you all. JUST KIDDING DON'T SHOOT ME! **

**Review for infinite mismatched socks! **

**Georgie'xo **


	6. Chapter 6

*Third Person POV*

The heart moniter next to Phil's bed begins to beep out of control, but the black haired boy keeps his eyes shut. Dan can feel the tears fall down his face, and nurses and doctors run in.

'What's happened? Is he gonna be okay?' Dan begins to panic.

'Sir, just go out into the waiting room please' Dan takes his seat where he was talking to Charlie not half an hour ago. He can hear the rushing of doctors, and he can almost hear the beating of his heart. Phil said he loved him, right before he...Dan couldn't even think about it. But what if...all of those doctors and nurses, what if the beeping was his heart starting up again? What if Phil was one of a kind, destined to pull through something the doctors described as a fatality or something? What if he could finally have a proper relationship? He got his phone out, realizing he hadn't checked it at all today. He had 3 missed calls and 6 texts. All from Pj. All asking how he is and stuff. The llama obsessed boy decided to make just one phone call.

'Hey Peej' he said, his voice thick with tears.

'Oh my god Dan! Are you okay! Chris told me what happened but won't let me go to the hospital!'

'He's pretty much dead, Peej. The doctor told me, and I watched him. Then the heart thing went crazy and all the doctors and nurses went crazy. He told me he loved me, and now he's in there, on the verge of death, and I can leave until I know!' Dans voice rose and he began to sob.

'Right, Chris is in the shower, I'm coming there. I'll be there in 10, you can't be alone' then the line went dead and Dan slumped back in his chair, sobbing. It's weird to be honest, Dan has only known this boy a day yet he's sobbing out all the water he's drank since he was born.

PJ arrives, and as soon as he sees Dan, he runs over to his and hugs him.

'You must feel awful, Dan. Believe me, if I was feeling the guilt you are now I would cry too!' Dan jumped away.

'Woah woah woah, guilt?!' Dan's confused face was somewhat comical, and PJ had to surpress the urge to laugh.

'Yeah, Chris told me you accidentally pushed him in front of a car? Awh, Dan!' Dans face changes from confusion to anger.

'What?! He told you THAT?! HE PUSHED PHIL, NOT ME! HE PUSHED PHIL FOR GIVING ME ADVICE!'

PJ's face looks at Dan in disbelief.

'Ya'know, I did wonder why he didn't want me coming here, and now that I think about it, I didn't think that you would do that, whereas Chris went to anger management! I'm sorry Dan' PJ pulls Dan into another hug.

With the boys still in each others embrace, Nurse Edwards walked out.

'Oh, er, I'm sorry. I'm guessing your another visitor of Mr Lester?' PJ nodded.

'We have some good news. Apparently Phillip has something worth living for, because he has somehow managed to pull through! However he will be in a drug-induced coma for the next week or so, but you're welcome to go and see him!' Dan jumped out of his seat and hugged the nurse.

'Thank you so much nurse, oh my god' He had the biggest smile on his face, one that met his eyes, one that PJ hadn't seen in a very long time. He ran and sat in the seat next to the bed where Phil lay.

'Phil, I don't know if you can hear me or not, I don't really know how comas work, but if you can hear me then I just want to tell you some stuff. First off, PJ is here with me. Chris told him that I pushed you! I'm so angry! But anyway, about what you said earlier, I want to say I feel the same but because of the whole thing with Chris I don't know if I do'

Dan spoke to Phil for about an hour, PJ sat on the other side of the bed, taking his loves hand and stroking it. So what, Phil didn't love him back? At the end of the day he wants him to be happy, and obviously if PJ had moved on, Phil would probably be happier. So that he will try and do. Easier said than done. Then his phone vibrates.

(Chris)-10:34pm

I told you not to go to the hospital! Why won't you listen to me you idiot?

(PJ)-10:36pm

Sorry for disobeying your orders. Please don't push me in front of a car.

(Chris)-10:37pm

Shit.

(PJ)-10:41pm

Why did you lie? What, did you think that if you passed responsibility about the accident, then the guilt would fuck off with it?! It doesn't work like that, and your a twat for dumping it all of an innocent person!

(Chris)-10:43pm

Just, leave me alone, go stay at Dans I just don't want to look at you at all tonight!

At the moment PJ read that text, Dan yawned.

'I think I need some sleep, Peej. I'm going home'

'Yeah, uh, do you think it would be okay if I crashed on your couch for the night? Chris is mad at me and when he's mad its best to steer clear'

'Of course Peej! I know Chris is a dick when he's mad,' He points to Phil 'Exhibit A'

Both boys drive to Dans apartment clock in their separate cars, and Dan makes a little bed for PJ out of a fuck load of cushions, a sofa and a duvet.

**AAAAAH ANOTHER CHAPTER! I hope you enjoyed, and Chris' lies will make a re-apperance within the next couple of chapters, but its's currently 10:45pm and I've done nothing. Like, literally, I've written this, tweeted and stared at a wall for the past 7 hours. Yay! **

**Review for infinite lion cereal!**

**Georgie'xo**


	7. Chapter 7

Days went by, and Phil still wasn't waking up. Dan went to visit him every day, talking to him like he could hear, and then going home and praying that the next day he would be awake. 5 days passed.

On the 6th day, Dan woke up, got ready and got into his friends car much like any other day. He got to the hospital, parked up, and walked into Phils room. Only he wasn't in his bed. The brown haired boy began to panic. Where was he? Why wasn't he in bed? What if...then a door opened and out Phil came, in the unflattering hospital gown and a robe.

'Dan!'

'Phil!'

'Perrie!' Nurse Edwards appeared in the doorway smiling. 'Er, I mean, nurse Edwards!' We all laughed, and I pulled Phil into a hug.

'I'm so glad you're okay Phil' He smiled back at me.

'So, are you feeling okay Mr Lester' He shuddered at the unneccesary use of his last name.

'Call me Phil...please!'

'Okay then are you feeling okay...Phil?' Emphasising the Phil in a london accent, even though she has a thick south sheilds accent.

'Yeah, I'm fine thanks' He smiled at her, and she walked away giggling.

Dan then sat down in the armchair, Phil on the bed.

'So, what's it like? You know, being in a coma?'

'It's just like a really long sleep' Dan heaved a sigh of relief. At least Phil wasn't in pain.

'I'd better ring Chris and PJ' Phil looked concerned.

'Do you need to invite Chris? It's his fault I'm in this bed you know?' Dan nodded in agreement.

'Yeah, I know, but if PJ gets invited and Chris doesn't, well, think about what he did to you for simply having an opinion, well who knows...he's just a bad person but he needs to be here' Phil smiled and nodded, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. At that moment, the police walked in.

'Hello Mr Lester' Phil opened his mouth to correct him, but he thought better of it.

'We have a few questions for you. Is that okay?' Phil nodded again.

'So, we have to ask you these questions. Can you recall how it happened?' Dan looked at Phil and smiled.

'Well, I was with a friend, and I tripped and the car came round the corner and obviously it hit me' Dan just sat in bewilderment. Why would he try and protect someone who almost killed him?

'And can you give me the name of the friend you were with?'

'Yes, Christopher Kendall, but if you wanted to ask him some questions then you might as well wait, Dan here is just going to give him a call, aren't you Dan?' Phil nudged Dan and gave him the 'Do as I say and don't question me peasant' eyes. Dan exited the room in a state of confusion. He got his phone and dialled the PJ/Chris household.

'Hello?' The sound of Chris' voice made Dan grit his teeth, but for his plan to work he had to pretend to be happy.

'Phil is awake, and the police are also here, and they want to speak to you. And you'd better be fucking grateful to Phil, he lied to keep you out of trouble' Dan whispered the last bit so the police wouldn't hear the lie Phil had blatantly told. He stood there for a while breathing in and out, in and out, trying to psych himself up. He walked up and down the corridor, breathing in and out, when a voice interrupted him from his thoughts.

'A lot on your mind there?' Dan turns to see Charlie there, sipping a milkshake.

'Just a bit. Why are you here then? Surely if your friend broke his hand he'd be home by now?' Charlie nodded and laughed.

'That he is, but my mum had an allergic reaction to something she ate, and went into anaphylactic shock, and the epi pen didn't work, so I drove her here' his voice got a bit choked up, and his eyes grew cloudy, so Dan decided to change the subject.

'Awh, well I'm just kind of, well, someone did something and I don't really under stand why, and now I'm waiting for someone so I can back up what this person said...if that makes sense?' Charlie nodded just as Chris walked through the door with PJ. He forces a smile.

'Hey Chris, Peej' they all hug, and Dan waves to Charlie.

'I hope your mum feels better soon, Charlie' He smile a genuine smile, and follows Chris and PJ into Phil's room.

'Hello there, Mr Kendall' Chris shaked the policemans hand.

'Please, call me Chris'

'Okay, Chris. Now I have a few questions to ask you about Mr Lester's accident. Now I believe you were there when it happened, do you mind recalling how it happened?' Chris looks at Dan, then and Phil. Phil nods.

'It's okay' Phil mouths.

'Well, me and Phil were talking, and he stepped forward, and there was a rock on the ground, and he tripped over it just as the car came around the corner' The guilt was forming in his stomach and he began to feel nauseous.

'Right, okay. Now tell me, were you having an argument or anything?' The guilt was making its way to Chris' head, and he felt dizzy.

'Can you, uh, excuse me a minute' He stands up, but soon after falls to the floor.

'Chris! Chris!' PJ runs to the unconcious boy lead on the floor. 'I think he fainted!'

'Good thing we're in a hospital, eh?' Dan said calmly, trying to make light of the situation. The policeman gets up to call a nurse to the room. When Nurse Edwards gets there, he says 'That's all we need anyway. Thank you Mr Lester, and tell Chris that I hope he feels better' He leaves, and Nurse Edwards helps Chris on to a bed.

*Chris POV*

My eyes flicker open, and I see three boys crowding over me. My eyes adjust and I see my best friend, my ex boyfriend, and the boy I almost killed.

'Hey Chris. You okay?' PJ smiled at me.

'No, my head hurts. What happened?'

'The police were asking you some questions and you fainted' I sit up. Dan sits in the armchair by Phils bed, and Phil sits on his bed. Pj sits on the armchair next to my bed.

'Am I in trouble with the police?' PJ shakes his head.

'Phil told them that he tripped, and you told them that too' I look over at Phil. He doesn't look like he's in any pain, but he's been in a coma. I did that to him. Why should he cover for me? Why should I lie just to protect myself? Then I look at Dan. He's laughing at something Phil said. I did this because he broke up with me. He must have known he didn't like me, and Phil was just an opinion. Why did I have to take it too far, just like I always do?! I always hear something, and if I don't like it, I'll do whatever I can to make things go my way. This must be why I can't ever stay with a boy for more than a week. Because if they say something that I don't like, I'll have a go at them.

'Chris? Chris, why are you crying?'

'Because,' I whisper, 'I put an innocent person in a coma for having an opinion. And this is why nobody wants to be with me' PJ strokes my hand reassuringly.

'You'll find someone one day, Chris. You're still young remember!' I smile at PJ. He always knows the right thing to say to make me feel better. That's why he's my best friend.

**New chapter for you guys! I feel like my writing is getting better, and its all because of your amazing reviews! Thank you so much to my best friend Shannon Crespin, she's been motivating me to update (and by motivating I mean peer pressuring... Joking!) So thank you Shannon! **

**In other news, I'm going to be on the Dan and Phil radio 1 show tomorrow! (17/03/13) I will be representing Conor Maynard in Fan Wars, which is soooo awesome, because I got to speak to Dan and Phil on the phone!**

**R+R for infinite diamond llamas!**

**Georgie'xo**


	8. NOT AN UPDATE

**This isn't an update! I'm sorry! It's just an author note chapter. I just wanted to apologise for my lack of writing, my phone has broken, and I don't have a laptop either so it's been really hard to update. The whole next chapter has been written on my phone, an obviously now I can't get it back so I need to write it ALL again! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love writing for you guys! But it's really annoying that I spent soooo long on a chapter to just lose it!**

That's all I wanted to say, byesies! ^_^


	9. Chapter 8

*Chris POV*

I look at my best friend lead in the hospital bed. How could I have done this to someone so innocent? Taking my phone, I go into the hallway. Sat on the seat in front of me is a boy about my age, with shaggy blond hair, crystal blue eyes and long, slender legs, which are shown off by a pair of denim shorts. He looks vaguely familiar...

'Can I help you?' He asks me, obviously noticing me staring. He takes a sip of his milkshake. I hear footsteps behind me.

'Thank God' I think to myself.

'Hey Charlie, you really do like that milkshake! Is your mum any better?' Dan appears behind me

'Much better, thank you! She should be coming home next week. Hoe about your friend, Phil?' He smiles, revealing a mouth full of perfect, pearly white teeth.

'Actually, he's in there getting changed right now, and he's coming home. Didn't even break a bone, God only knows how!' Dan smiles back. Oh, that smile. Just that smile reminds me of how much I love him.

'Excuse me' I say, and rush off to the toilet. My eyes are already more than a little wet.

*Third person*

'What's wrong with him?' Charlie asked, concerned.

'I give exactly minus ten shits about what's wrong with him to be quite honest' As soon as those words left Dans lips, PJ exited Phils hospital room.

'Peej! Go find Chris! He's upset about something' Dan pointed down the corridor where Chris had hurried off not ten seconds ago.

'On it!' PJ ran down the corridor where Dan had pointed.

*Third person; Chris*

Chris dialled the number on his phone. It rang and rang and rang. No answer.

'Please leave your message after the tone' Chris sighed. Why won't she ever answer him?

'Hey Emma! So, I know we haven't spoken in a while, but I need you. I need to speak to you like we used to! I need you to be my best friend like you always were! Call me back, bye!

Emma is Chris' older sister. Honey hair, ocean eyes and a long slender figure were her most memorable features. She always has her head in a book. I was actually the one who taught Chris to read, since their mum is dyslexic and their dad ran away with a twenty year old model when Chris was one and Emma was seven. Ever since Chris was about six, himself and Emma had not only been siblings, but best friends. She taught him how to read and write before he went to school, she taught him how to draw, she introduced him to video games when he was eight, but most of all, she helped him come out about being gay when he was fourteen. But when Emma was twenty-two, her best friend, Jack Howard, introduced her to him other best friend, Dean Dobbs. After two years, Dean and Emma got married and had a little boy, Oliver. Chris babysat Oliver a couple of times, but apart from that, they both kind of drifted apart. The only times they really saw each other now was Christmas, birthdays and occasional sundays. It's really sad for Chris. She used to be his shoulder to cry on, his agony aunt when he needed advice, his google when he needed help his homework. Now she's just his sister.

Chris sighed, reminiscing about the memories he had with Emma. All the days playing Mario on the Nintendo 64, playing Space Invaders at the arcade, all the time they had spent laughing at what the other had said. That's all gone.

'Chris? Chris, are you in here?' PJ's voice echoed through the empty restroom.

'Yeah Peej, I'm in the middle cubicle!' Chris replied, followed by a sniff.

'Chris, come on out buddy! What's up?' Chris wipes his wet eyes and exits the cubicle.

'You know what, PJ, just stop pretending t be nice to me, we both know what you're really thinking. You're thinking what everyone else is thinking. You're thinking 'Ugh Chris, the abusive, ugly twat who murders his friends for pleasure'. Even my sister abandoned me! As soon as the anger management started, Emma fucked off!' His voice rose and tears fell freely from his hazel eyes. PJ pulled him in for a hug but Chris pulled away.

'Don't you dare touch me! Don't pretend you give a toss about me!' PJ's eyes drop to the floor.

'I just wanted to say that nobody should ever feel like they're not enough. It's not nice to feel unwanted because chances are someone wants you just the way you are. You just have to give it time.' This is just what Emma had told Chris when he was sixteen. PJ looked up from the floor and his green eyes met Chris' hazel ones. In that moment, Chris had gone from his vulnerable best friend to an attractive stranger in the restroom. And in this breif moment, all memory of Phil had been blocked from his mind. Then, he noticed Chris' face getting closer to his own...and his phone goes off, sound bouncing all around the mens room. He reaches his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Dan. He always chooses the worst possible time to text!

[Dan]-1:32pm

Come on, peasant! You must've found him by now! Phil is ready to go. We're waiting!

PJ laughed. Dan did love calling people 'Peasant'! He looked up at Chris, who was looking more than a little dissapointed. He bit his lip.

'Phil is ready to go now, we'd better get back' Chris nodded and walked out of the restroom, saying nothing. PJ followed suit. They returned to Phils room, still staying silent.

'About bloody time! Where have you been?' Dan laughed.

"Oh, I got lost on my way to the toilet' Chris lied convincingly. Dan shrugged nonchalantly.

'Come oooon! I wanna go hoooome!' Phil whined like a four year old. All the boys exited the room, checked out at the front desk, and left the hospital.

'Air! I missed you!' Phil span around, giggling like a schoolgirl. They all got into their separate cars, Phil and Dan in Dans friends car, and PJ and Chris in PJ's car.

Dan and Phils drive home consisted of talking about any random crap they could think of. In a moment of silence, Dan took the opportunity to ask the question that has been bugging his mind for the past twenty-four hours.

'Why did you lie? You know, about Chris?' Phil looked up from his phone and sighed.

'Its easier to forget if I blame myself, and if nobody gets in trouble, I can pretend it never happened, whereas if Chris got arrested, of course I would want to visit him, and visiting him would be a constant reminder of the damage he caused me. Plus I'm not dead, so this can easily just be another story to tell my kids and grandkids when I'm old and grey!' Phil looked back down at his phone.

'Ok, that makes sense, but why, after all of that, would you still want to be his friend?' Dan kept his eyes on the road, his knuckles white where he was gripping the steering wheel so tight.

'Because I know what its like to be crazy in love with someone, and I know what it feels like when its over. He pushed me because he was angry, because I caused something that made him upset. It was because he was in love with you, and I guided you on your way to ending it. Have you ever been in love?' A couple of stray tears fell down the older boys face, but he quickly discarded them before the other saw.

'I thought I was' The brunette replied quietly. The drive continued in silence, neither boy really knowing what to say to the other. Dan pulled up in front of the apartment building, quickly followed by PJ's car.

'We thought we could join you for the evening?' PJ asked happily.

'I'd like that!' Phil replied, in his normal carefree, happy-go-lucky voice.

Dan walked over to Chris and pulled him into a tight embrace.

'I'm sorry I got so pissed at you, I guess I'm just too dumb to know what it feels like to be in your position. I've never been in love, so I've never had anyone tell me they don't love me, so I don't really know how it felt, if that makes sense?' Chris nodded. When Dan pulled away, Chris's face was a mixture of confusion and happiness.

'Look, I'm glad you understand know why I did it, but why do you need to apologise? I'm-' but Dan interrupted him before he could finish.

'Just accept my apology and get the fuck upstairs!' He smiled innocently at Chris and pushed his back lightly. He laughed and ran to join Phil and PJ at the door. Somehow, his feelings for Dan and kind of started to leave. I mean, he still loved him, but it just felt like he had began to come to terms with the fact that Dan doesn't love him. It's not often that feelings just disappear, so when Dan hugged him and he didn't have the uncontrollable urge to grab his face and kiss him, he was as surprised as anyone.

When the boys arrive at Phils flat, they all have to wait for Dan, who had manages to put Phils key right at the bottom of his bag. Then a letter fell out. Phil picked it up curiously.

'Hey Dan, what's this?' Dan snatched it away and put it in the side pocket of his bag quickly.

'It's nothing! Here are your keys' PJ looked at Dan, a flicker of worry filling his eyes. Dan flashed him an 'I'll tell you later' look and entered Phils now-open flat. They all piled onto the two sofas Phil had in his flat. They spent the evening chatting, drinking (except Dan. Someone had to be responsible!)

When it got to about 12pm, Dan stood up. Being the only sober one meant he had to take complete responsibilty of the othe three.

'Right, Phil needs rest, PJ and Chris, you're staying at my flat tonight, you're too drunk to drive, and there is no way in hell I'm letting you walk in that state' Dan ordered everyone around, playing daddy Howell. Everyone complied, too tires to argue.

The three boys entered Dans flat.

'PJ, you can go on the sofa, Chris, you're in the spare room. You know where everything is if you get thirsty or hungry. Remember that I've barely slept the last week, so if you wake me up before eleven tomorrow, I will kiss you. Got it? Both boys nodded and walked drunkenly to where they were sleeping. Dan tossed two pillows and a blanket at PJ and went to his own room. Without getting in to his pyjamas, he got into his bed. He fell as aleep as soon has his head hit the pillow.

**AAAAAAGHHGHHH THIS TOOK ME FOOOREEEVERRRRR TO WRITE! I spent 2 days on the hard copy and then another 3 hours typing it out and editing it! But here you go, my longest chapter yet. EN-F*CKING-JOY! (Just kidding, I love every single person who reviews this story :D) **

**Thank you to KickTheEmma on twitter, she inspired the character of Emma (Chris' sister) and helped me with her characterization (if that's how you spell it) so thank you Emma, you're the best! **

**Happy late easter! **

**I'm hoping the next chapter will be done before my birthday, but that's on friday so I'm making no promises.**

**Review for infinite teddy bears wearing tutus!**

**Love you all so much! Keep reviewing! You are all really sweet!**

**Most of my thanks go to NeverlandNat and Lifelane who have reviewed almost every chapter so far, thank you both so much! But thank you to everyone as well, you are the reason I carry on! Seriously, I can't thank you all enough! **

**Stay awesome!**

**Georgie'xo **


	10. NOT AN UPDATE (again)

**Hi guys! I have the next chapter written but I won't update until I have access to a computer as it's too long for me to type on my phone, but do not despair! I have published a one shot on my profile to keep you guys occupied, and obviously my fanfic isn't the only one out there. But read my one shot, I put a lot of effort into it! (well, please read it ^_^)**

**Love and hugs**

**~Georgie'xo~**


	11. Chapter 9

Phil is awoken by a ray of light pouring through the crack in the window. of course the first thing he does is roll over and check his phone. one text from PJ  
[PJ]-9:43  
Want some breakfast from McDonalds?  
it was only received 2 minutes ago, so Phil taps a quick reply.  
[Phil]-9:45  
Coffee and a McMuffin thanks :)

As he walks into the living room, he spots something out of the corner of his eye. An envelope. Dans from last night. Even though he knows that Dan was obviously very private about this letter, his curiosity got the better of him and he found himself walking over to the envelope and picking it up. He twirled it around in his fingers a few times. Before he knew what was happening, his hands reached inside and scooped up the letter.

Listen faggot, I don't care if we were born from the same parents, you're no brother of mine. I'm warning you, don't you ever come home, unless you want to relive what happened in year 10?

'How could someone say that to him?' Phil thought. 'Being gay is not different from being straight, except its same gender!'  
Not really knowing what to do, Phil slides it back in its envelope. His thoughts rushed through his mine like a flock of unicorns. Questions filled his brain.  
Was that his brother?  
Why was he so horrible?  
Why did he want to keep this a secret?

He was ripped from his thoughts by a knock at the door. He groans and stands up to open it.  
'Coffee and a McMuffin, you're majesty!' PJ mock bows as Chris hands Phil his breakfast. He took it gratefully and gestured for the boys to come in. They all wandered inside. Then Chris receives a text.

[Emma]-10:01am  
I'm so sorry Chris! I've been busy! Come over this afternoon, And we can have a catch up!

Chris smiled down at his phone. The last time he saw Emma was when Oliver was 3, so 2 years ago now!  
'Whats gotten you so happy all of a sudden?' PJ chuckles, not used to seeing his best friend so happy. Chris smiled even wider.  
'Emma! She's invited me over this afternoon! I gotta go!' And with that, he was gone. PJ looked over at Phil, who just shrugged and walked to the sofa.  
'Get the plates out, Peej, I'm gonna see if Dans awake' PJ looked at Phil warningly.  
'I wouldn't if I were you. When he's woken up he goes a bit cuckoo!' PJ raises his hand to this head and spins his hand in a circular motion, but his sleeve slips up and Phil spots something.  
'PJ, come here a sec?' Phil says quietly. PJ walks over to him.  
'Now hold your hand out' The green eyed boy slowly moves his hand towards Phil, shaking. Phil grabs his hand and pushes the sleeve up.  
'What is this PJ?!' Phil points at the many lacerations, dancing up PJs arm. 27 angry red marks.  
'PJ Liguori. Shirt off. NOW.' PJ removes his shirt, hands shaking, tears streaming down his face. More cuts. 56 little lashes, 6 long, deep cuts and 4 big, red, blistered burn marks. A small tear rolls down the black haired boys face.  
'PJ why?' PJ falls to the ground, sobbing. Phil kneels down next to him and wraps his arms around the younger boy. They sit there for about 5 minutes, PJ sobbing, Phil rubbing circles into his back.  
When PJ stops crying, he looks up at Phil, whose face is full of remorse and regret.

*Phils POV*  
I look down at the boy crying on the floor. His arms are covered in scars, his body covered in burns. Did I do this? All of a sudden all of my feelings from when we first met come flooding back. A wave of emotions that I can't control. Without really contemplating the what, why and how, I lift his chin up and kiss him. Unlike the first time, where it was awkward and unintentionally gross, this time it feels good. It feels almost right. Like I was meant to be here, kissing PJ. Then he pulls away. I open my eyes to see his green ones staring at me. He looks confused.  
'But- but you said- and then- what?' I smile at him. His face drops.  
'I don't want your pity. I don't want you to date me because you feel guilty for this happening. I want this because its real' I don't know why, but I all of a sudden have a craving to kiss his perfect pink lips.  
'If it wasn't real, why would I do this?' I kiss him again, this time with more passion, more feeling. And this time, he kisses me back.  
*Warning, slight smut. I'm not good at this, and if your awkward reading it, skip to the next set of stars, it won't affect the plot line*  
My tongue traces along his bottom lip, requesting entrance. He happily grants it, and my tongue hungrily explores his mouth. My hand finds its way up his shirt and I massage his chest lightly. Our tongues battle for dominance, as he begins to unbutton my green checkered shirt. I remove his quickly and we lay down on the floor. I can feel a bulge growing in my jeans as our hips grind together, in perfect harmony with our kiss. I can feel his doing the same. My mouth trails from his mouth to his neck, placing little kisses on every piece of available skin on his way. I never realised I wanted PJ so bad until now. When I reach his neck, I nip and suck, leaving a small bruise in place. My hands travel down to the waistband of his boxers, which were hanging ever so slightly out of his jeans. I fiddle with the button, and eventually get the jeans off. I see the tent in his boxers. He looks down at me, whimpering, waiting for me to do something. I place my hand on his crotch and begin rubbing, softly at first, then harder. He moans softly. Then there is a knock at the door.

*Almost-smut over. It was bad, I'm surprised you even got through it if you did*

'Shit' is all I could say. I mean, thinking about it, maybe it was a bit impulsive, but now there is someone at the door and PJ is just in his boxers, and I don't have time to Put my shirt back on. PJ runs into my room, and I just answer the door without a shirt, hoping he won't notice my fairly obvious boner.  
'Grandma, grandma, grandma' I think to myself as I open the door to reveal a very smiley Dan.  
'Your topless and you have sex hair. Who's here?' I feel my cheeks flush.  
'Is it Carrie' My cheeks go redder, and I try to straighten out my hair.  
'Ah okay, so where is she now?' He laughs at me. I just don't know what to say.  
'Anyway, I was hoping we could spend today together like we were going to last week?' I nod.  
'Sure, come on it' I let him in awkwardly, silently hoping that PJ doesn't make a sound. I see him looking at something on the other side of the room. PJ's jeans. He was wearing the same jeans as me.  
'So, if you're wearing your jeans, whose are those? I don't think Carrie would be wearing mens skinny jeans' then there was a sound from my bedroom.  
'Oh, so 'Carrie' is in here is she?' He walks over to the door.  
'No!' I shout, jumping over the sofa to Dan. Then he spots PJ's shirt in the corner.  
'Hey, PJ has a shirt like-' then he gasps. My face goes red again.  
'Oh my god! Oh my god! You did it with PJ!' He shouts, giggling and running round the apartment. I can almost feel PJ's embarrassment through the wall.  
'Well, not technically. I mean, uh, no?' He laughs at me. He knocks lightly at my bedroom door.  
'PJ? Are you in there?' Grab him by his collar and clap my hand over his mouth. He licks it.  
'Ew, that's disgusting!' I say, wiping my now wet hand on his face.  
'Gross! Phil!' He complains, but I just laugh at him. He grabs the totoro that is sat on the sofa and hits me with it.  
'Ow! Dan!' We laugh and mess about as if we've been friends for years. I almost forget about PJ.  
'Go into the kitchen, ill be back in a Sec.' I grab PJ's clothes and run into my room. PJ is sat on the bed.  
'Im sorry Peej, I completely forgot, here are your clothes, get dressed quick and we'll get you out whilst Dan is in the kitchen' he nods and gets dressed quickly.  
'Oh, and PJ?' He looks up at me, his emerald eyes sparkling.  
'Will you, uh, be- be my, uh' I say awkwardly.  
'I'd love to!' We share one more passionate kiss before exiting the bedroom. Luckily Dan isn't there. We walk quickly and silently to the front door, and there, waiting in the hallway, is Dan.  
'I told you to wait in the kitchen!' He laughs at me again.  
'And miss the embarrassment on PJ's face? I don't think so!' Sure enough, PJ looks absolutely horrified. I can't help but laugh at him.  
'He has a point though Peej, you do look pretty funny' he gives me the death glare.  
'Not funny! You know how much I hate being embarrassed!' I laugh at him and pull him into a tight hug.  
'Don't worry, Dans just being an idiot!' He smiles at me.  
'Well I better go, I need to shower!' We wave him off and he gets into the lift.  
'Well, that was eventful. Coffee?' I ask him as he follows me back into my apartment. I bustle around in the kitchen, making coffee and getting some biscuits.

We spend the rest of the afternoon playing sonic - which he is really good at - and Crash Bandicoot, and eating chocolate popcorn (my favourite thing ever) and just getting to know each other better. I find out that Dans birthday is the 11th of June, his favourite sweets are malteasers, his middle name is James, he's been gay since he was fifteen, he has an older brother called Adrian, who he's never really gotten along with (this must have been the guy who sent the letter) and his favourite band is Muse.  
I tell him all about myself, how my birthday is January 30th, my middle name is Michael, favourite sweets are cadburys chocolate popcorn, been bi since I was 12, I have an older brother and how my favourite band is also Muse. Now that we've gotten to know each other a little better, we've suddenly gone from strangers to best friends in the space of 3 hours!  
'What do you want for lunch?' I ask him, searching for some form of food in the empty cupboards.  
'Never mind, ill get a takeaway. Pizza or Chinese?'  
'Pizza. Meat feast' I pick up the phone and order a large meat feast pizza and a bottle of pepsi from dominoes.  
'I need to go shopping' I say.  
'Wanna watch a movie?' He looks up at me, nodding.  
'Go choose one!' I tell him, pointing at my massive DVD collection. He looks at all the DVD's I is before deciding on Love Actually. My secret favourite film.  
'This is my favourite movie! Don't tell Chris or PJ though, they'll take the piss!' I look at him, surprised that we have that in common.  
'Its my favourite too!' I place the DVD and we sit on opposite ends of the sofa. My feet are cold, so I pull the blanket from the back of the sofa over them. Dan puts his feet under it too.  
After about half an hour the pizza comes. I get up and grab my wallet from the side, and open the door. Stood there is a fairly tall girl with long, dark blue, frizzy hair. She smiles at me, and hands me the pizza. I pay her, and just as I'm about to close te door she stops me.  
'I'm sorry, I don't mean to be unprofessional but I'm Jade, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out for coffee sometime? You could give me your number?' I shift from foot to foot awkwardly.  
'Or I could give you mine?' She pulls card out of her pocket. Then Dan comes up behind me and puts his hands round my waist.  
'Honey, what's taking so long? I'm hungry!' She looks at us, first at me, then at Dan, then back at me.  
'I'm so sorry! I'll just...yeah' she walks away quickly, and I shut the door.  
'Thank you so much Dan! I hate saying no to people! Oh my God did you see her face?!' We burst into fits of laughter, giggling like maniacs. Is it weird that having Dans arms round my waist was strangely compelling?  
'Don't tell PJ about that, he'll kill me' Dan says sternly. Then we laugh again.  
'In the whole twelve years I've known him, he's barely said boo to a goose!' I say between laughs. 'Right, pizza?'  
We sit on the sofa, just chatting about nothing, stuffing our faces with pizza, whilst Love Actually plays on in the background.  
'Wow! It's only 3 o'clock!' Dan says as the film finishes. I look at my phone.  
'God! I thought it was later!' We sit on the sofa, silence filling the room.  
The sound of Muse coming from my phone indicates that Chris is phoning me. I have a different ringtone for all of my friends.  
'Hello?'  
'Right, is Dan with you? If he is, go into your room' I do as I'm told, apologising to Dan on my way. As soon as my door closes, Chris begins talking very quickly down the phone.  
'Phil, I just got a text from Dans brother, I don't think he meant to send it to me, but it said this.  
'I'll be at yours at 6pm, faggots like you new to be taught a lesson' that doesn't even make sense? I think it may have been for Dan, and Dans brother is really big and scary and I'm worried!' I think back to that letter.  
'How long have you and Dan known each other?' I ask.  
'About a year?'  
'How about Dan and PJ?'  
'Well, their parents went to school together, and have always been really close friends. Their whole life, I think?' Perfect.  
'Okay thanks for letting me know. I'll call you later' I hang up and dial PJ's number.  
'PJ! You've known Dan your whole life, correct?'  
'Yeah, why?'  
'Year 10. Anything significant happen?' There was a pause.  
'Uh...why?'  
'Listen Peej, it's vital that I get this information'  
'Well we went to different schools so I don't know what actually happened, but from what Dan told me, his brother got loads of his mates to beat him up' I gasp.  
'Thank you PJ, that's so helpful! Is Dans brother homophobic? Is there any reason they didn't get along?' Another 10 seconds of silence. Then PJ breathes in.  
'Dans brother is gay, but he never told Dan. Well, I don't know if he still is but he was. He only ever told his best friend, who at the time was me. I told Dan, because I felt like he deserved to know, and Dan told their parents. Dan was fifteen and Adrian was 16 at the time, and it was just after Dan came out. Adrian wasn't very happy about Dan telling their parents, so that's how the fight happened.' There's just one thing that doesn't quite add up.  
'So if Adrian was gay, why did he call Dan a faggot in the letter?' I clap my hand over my mouth.  
'Letter? You read Dans letter?!' Whoops.  
'I was curious. It said 'listen faggot, don't come home unless you want a repeat of year 10' and something about how Dan was no brother of his' PJ takes a small breath in.  
'Well, I better go, I'll speak to you later Peej. Thanks again!' I press the Hang up button and go back into the living room. Dan is staring down at something on his phone. I can't really make out what his facial expression is, but swear i see a tear roll down his cheeks.  
'Phil! I'm gonna go now, i got a lot to do' I look at the clock. 3:47pm.  
'Okay Dan, I'll see you later.' He exits my apartment, and wave goodbye. I watch him get in the lift and as soon as he is, I get my phone out and phone PJ again.  
'I need you at my apartment at 5:30. Don't ask questions, just do it' then I hang up. I phone Chris and say the same thing.  
'But I'm at my sisters house!' I sigh guiltily. I know how much he missed his sister.  
'Please Chris, I need you!' I hear him sigh down the phone.  
'Fine!' I hang up. I have an hour and a half, so I decide to got and get a milkshake. The closest shake-away is only round the corner. I grab my coat, keys, phone and wallet and exit the apartment.  
The cool air hits my face, and I relax. The walk to the shop is quite calm.  
I approach the shop and there is only one other person in there. I place my order of Oreo and Daim bar and wait.  
'Hey, you're Phil right?' The other boy asks me.  
'Yeah. I don't mean to be ignorant but do I know you?' He chuckles.  
'No, you don't. I'm Charlie. I was in the hospital with my mum when you were. I heard them say your name and I saw you walk out so I assumed that was your name' i smile at him.  
'Well, nice to meet you Charlie!' The person at the counter puts my drink up and I pay.  
'Well, bye!' We smile at each other and wave politely.  
I walk back to my apartment, sipping on my milkshake as I walk. I get back at 4:32. An hour until everyone turns up. I don't really know what to do. I try and watch TV, and play Sonic, and read my book, but nothing will take my mind of what's gonna happen. 5:04. I shift in my seat, watching the clock ticking. The little hand going round and round. Just like my head. Thoughts spinning round and round, making me dizzy. I put my headphones in, hoping that a bit of Muse will clear my head. At least for a while.  
The little hand shifts on to the 6. That means its now 5:30. Right on cue, there is a knock at the door.  
'Come in!' I shout, and in comes PJ. He walks over to me and pulls me into a hug.  
'Why did you want me over?'  
'I'll tell you when Chris gets here' then the front door opens again.  
'Hi guys! So why did you force me away from my sisters house to here?' I shift awkwardly.  
'Well, Chris, read this letter' I hand him the letter that Dan dropped here. He reads it, and his mouth drops in shock.  
'What happened in year 10' PJ explains the whole thing again.  
'So we're here to protect Dan, yes?' I nod.  
'Lets wait right downstairs, try and stop him from coming in at all'  
We all exit my apartment and go down in the lift. We all wait downstairs, just outside the apartment block. We stand there for 20 minutes, all chatting, trying to calm our nerves, when a big silver car pulls up in front of us. A boy gets about, about 22. Really tall and well built. You can tell by his face that he's Dans brother. I look over at PJ. He steps forward.  
'Adrian! Hi!' He smiles as convincingly as he can, and Adrian smiles back.  
'Hi PJ, it's been a while!' I look over at Chris, and I can tell by his face that he's angry. He steps forward, and before I can stop him he's yelling at Adrian.  
'That text you sent to me! You think I wouldn't tell anyone! You threatened my best friend! I oughta kill you right here right now!' Adrian laughs.  
'You? Are you sure about that?' I look at this man, he doesn't look strong, just big.  
'So how about you?' He looks at me. 'Who the hell are you and what do you have to say?' I really wish I hadn't done this now.  
'Uh, I'm Phil. Apparently you've been threatening Dan and I really think you shouldn't' he laughs at me. It's weird, I'm four year older, he shouldn't intimidate me as much as he does.  
'And what are you gonna do about it?' He pushes me lightly.  
'Please no fighting, I'm a strong pacifist' he looks at me with disgust.  
'Oh, so you're a faggot just like my brother?' I look up and all of a sudden I am filled with adrenaline.  
'No more than you! Not my fault you're in denial' he punches me square in the face. I stagger backwards, not letting a single tear fall down my face.  
'There was no need for that Adrian! Come on!' PJ yells and grabs my hand. I can feel the blood running down my nose, but it doesn't sway me.  
'So if your gay, why did you call Dan a faggot? Must mean you're a faggot yourself then?' I instantly regret saying it. He punches me again, and then kicks me in the...painful parts. I groan in pain and fall to the floor. He kicks me in the stomach and again on the face.  
'Stop it! Stop it now!' Chris yells, pulling Adrian away. He kicks and yells, but Chris doesn't let go.  
'Get off me! Get off!' Chris let's go, and punches him on the side of his face. He shouts in pain. Chris raises his fist again, but Adrian stops him.  
'Not again, please! Ill go! Please just don't hit me again!' He runs back and gets in his car.  
'Don't start fights you can't finish!' Chris shouts as Adrian drives away.  
'Pussy' PJ shouts, and we all laugh.  
'He's all talk! I don't think anyone's ever done that before, always too scared!' Chris looks pleased with himself.  
'Come one, lets get you cleaned up!' We all get into the lift.  
As we approach my floor, Dan is there waiting.  
'Phil, I think I left my...WHAT HAPPENED?!' He yells, running straight over to me.  
'He found out about Adrian and stopped him from coming up and getting you' I try and smile, but my lips hurt too much.

*Dans POV*  
I can't believe this. He's all beaten! He did this for me? He took a beating...for me? Why would he do that? Nobody has ever done something that sweet for me! Even old boyfriends, they've never been so sweet. PJ is a very lucky boy for having Phil as his boyfriend. I'm happy for him. I really am. And not at all jealous. Nope.

Okay, I'm a tad jealous.

**Meant to be a cliffhanger. Could you tell? Never mind. This took me FOREVER to type out! Its the longest chapter yet! over 4000 words! Don't worry, I will do the part about Emma and Chris in the next chapter! Hope you enjoyed! R&R for potato friends! (You'll get that if you watch LukeIsNotSexy) Love and kisses!**

**~Georgie'xo~**


	12. Chapter 10

*Dan POV*  
'I'm afraid Mr Lesters condition is critical, and he won't make it through tonight. I'm very sorry Mr Howell. You can go in and say your goodbyes' I stand up, tears falling out of my eyes and onto the floor. I walk into the room and see Phil lying in the hospital bed, bruised and bleeding. The fight he'd gotten into with my brother was worse than bad. Adrian had hit him so hard on the side of his head that it dented his skull. It was the sensitive part of the skull that he hit.  
'Phil? Oh Phil! This is all my fault! If I hadn't been such a 'faggot' like my brother said, this wouldn't have happened!' I cry into Phils chest. He strokes my back.  
'None of this is your fault! I shouldn't have gotten into a fight in the first place. But he was going to hit you, and i didn't want that' I look up. His voice is weak, and his eyes lacked their usual natural spark.  
'It should be me in this bed. Not you. I should be the one dying in hospital. It was my brother that did it, and it's my sexuality that drove my brother to do it, ergo it's my fault' he reaches his hand up and wipes a tear from my face. The he leans up and kisses me. Passionate and full of love, the kiss I've been waiting for my whole life. All of a sudden I'm in a fantasy world, full of unicorns and rainbows. I'm soon ripped away from this fantasy world by a beeping coming from Phils heart monitor.  
'This is it' I think to myself.  
'Dan! Before I go, I need to tell you. I love you' he says hoarsely before losing his breath. His eyes flutter shut. He looks so peaceful, so serene. As if he's just asleep. Doctors and Nurses run in, but it's too late. My sweet, beautiful Phil is gone. Heaven just gained another angel, oh and what and angel he was. Always happy, always smiling, always with a twinkle in those beautiful blue eyes of his.  
'Im sorry, Mr Howell' the nurse says to me. A tear rolls down my face.  
'I never got to tell him that, I love him too! I really do!' She pats my back awkwardly.  
'Its okay, he's in a better place now' I fall to my knees and sob.  
'I love you Phil' I sob into my hands. He's gone. I'm never going to see him again.

I wake up with a start. Wet patch on my pillow from crying, my body covered in sweat. This is the 5th time this month I've dreamt about Phil. Why? Why do I do this? Why am I dreaming about another boy in all these lovey dovey situations?  
And that's when it hits me.  
I'm in love with Phillip Lester.

*PJ POV*  
It's been a month since me and Phil got together, and it's been the best month of my life. We're just like best friends-well we are really. We just laugh and chat and kiss and hug, it's just perfect. We are going into town in ten minutes, as its Dans birthday next week and we both need to get him something. It's great, Dan and Phil have built up this really close relationship in the past month, it's like they've been friends forever! They're just so close, and Dan isn't really a people person, so it's great to see him talk to someone that isn't me or Chris.  
'Babe, you ready!' I hear Phil shout from the living room. I shout back a quick yes then pull my shoes on. I grab my keys and wallet and exit my bedroom.  
'Christopher Kendall, we are just going out for a few hours!' I shout into Chris bedroom. He comes out with a five year old at his ankle.  
'Goodbye PJ Liguori. Why are we using full names?' I look at the boy at his leg.  
'I don't know, but since when did we have a child?' I hear Phil laugh.  
'This is Oliver. Emma asked me to look after him. She dropped him off like an hour ago, but you two were too busy making out to notice' I feel my cheeks get hot.  
'Oh alright, bye!' I wave at Chris and me and Phil leave the house.

After 2 hours of Phil and I going in and out of shops, deciding what to get Dan, I decide on a muse poster in a frame, and Phil gets him some American sweets. We start to walk home hand in hand when a girl comes up to us. I've never seen her before, but she obviously recognises Phil.  
'Hi! You were the one I brought the pizza to! You know, I never got your name?' Phil smiles sweetly.  
'Hi Jade! My names Phil' she looks down at our intertwined hands.  
'Hey, what happened to that other guy you were with?' I look at her puzzlingly.  
'Other guy?' I query.  
'Yeah! Brown hair, quite tall, tanned. He was your boyfriend wasn't he?' Dan? I look over at Phil. His face is paler than usual.  
'When was this?' She squints her eyes, trying to remember.  
'About a month ago. The day after my birthday, so...May 2nd' the same day me and Phil became a couple. I look at Phil again, who is staring at me with sad eyes. I let go of his hand and walk away, quickly. Tears are pricking in my eyes. I feel like my heart has been shattered into a million tiny pieces. He was cheating on me? That's why Dan came over!  
'PJ! I can explain!' I turn around, and he is running towards me, tears in his eyes.  
'Explain what exactly?! Because if your going to explain how or why you bothered to go out with me, save it! I knew you were only trying to make me feel better! I knew I should've known better! Just fuck off, you heartless PRICK!' I spit the last few words out. People are staring at us but I don't care. I turn around but he grabs my wrist.  
'Don't you dare touch me!' I yell.  
'Please?' He whispers, sobbing into his hands. This time I turn around and run. I run all the way home, and once I'm there I lock myself in my bedroom and cry. I cry and cry for hours. This was not how this was supposed to turn out.

*Dan POV*  
I sit in my bedroom, mind spinning. I mean, I've known this guy, what? A month and a half? He took a punch for me, and I suddenly have all these feelings, feelings that I can't control. I stand up and wander into the bathroom. It's 1 o'clock and I haven't brushed my teeth.  
I swill the mouthwash and spit it into the sink. I watch the liquid spiral down into the darkness of the plug hole. Just like my thoughts. Swirling in and out of a never ending black hole of emotions. Just dipping and diving throughout my mind. It's like me playing dodgeball at school, trying to dodge away, but getting hit by whatever's coming towards me. Like a mosh pit of emotions, squishing together to create one giant mess. I try and eat lunch, but I've lost my appetite. I try and play Skyrim, but nothing can bring my mind away. Someone knocks at the door. I groan and stand up.  
'Please don't be Phil, please don't be Phil, please don't be...Phil!' I smile. I couldn't help it. He has that quality. I soon notice that he has tears streaming down his face.  
'Phil what happened?! Come in!' I beckon him inside and he sits on the sofa, and I put the kettle on.  
'J-jade the p-pizza delivery g-girl. She saw us I-in town and she asked a-about my other b-boyfriend. Sh-she meant you, and P-PJ was there. He dumped me, h-he though I w-was cheating on h-him' he manages to get out before sobbing into his hands.  
'What? He thought you were cheating on him? Did he even hear your side of the story? I know what he's like, he sometimes doesn't listen to every detail' Phil shook his head.  
'H-he ran away' I can't say I'm surprised.  
'We've been b-best friends for twelve years, what if that's all g-gone?!' He raises his voice. Then he points at me.  
'This is all YOUR fault! If you hadn't pretended to be my boyfriend none of this would have happened!' He shouts at me, voice full of spite.  
'I was trying to help! You didn't want to say no!' I try and save myself, even though I know this is my fault.  
'Whatever. I'm going Dan. Don't call or text, I don't want to speak to you' I grab his wrist.  
'Get off me, you CUNT!' We both gasp. I've never heard Phil swear before, so to hear him call me a name like that he must be REALLY mad. I look at him. He even looks shocked at himself. He turns around and runs out of my apartment. I sigh and collapse into the sofa. What just happened? My mind is in an even worse state than before. I think I just lost a really close friend and someone I've developed very strong feelings for. I can't even cry, I'm just so shocked. I just keep playing that moment back in my head.  
'You CUNT!' The look of disgust on his face. He must really hate me to call me that. I pick my phone up to text Chris, but he rings me first.  
'PJ is a mess, any idea? Phil won't pick up his phone' I sigh again. I've been doing a lot of that recently.  
'Come over, I'll explain' he agrees and hangs up. I go over the whole conversation in my head, over and over until Chris arrives.

*Chris POV*  
I put my coat on, put Oliver's coat on him and we leave. I think about the conversation I had with Emma.

*Flashback*  
'Hey Emma!' I say brightly as she opens the door.  
'Uncle Chris!' Oliver shouts, running towards me. I pick him up and twirl him around.  
'Your getting big now!' I laugh at him.  
'Come on in Chris!' I wander inside. The apartment is full of toys, just scattered around. I sit on the sofa and kick my shoes off.  
'You have a habit of making yourself at home. Tea or coffee?' I tell her that I want tea and pull my phone out. I sit, checking my Facebook, until she comes in with m tea.  
'Oliver, uncle Chris and I are going to have a little talk. Go and play in your room please?' Oliver runs away and Emma sits beside me on the sofa.  
'Whats on your mind?' I sigh.  
'Well there's this boy, Dan. I am kinda in love with him. I told him and we kissed, but then he dumped me. And I still love him but me and my roommate almost kissed and my emotions are everywhere! I can barely eat!' I say in a rush.  
'Well you've got yourself in a bit of a pickle. Do you love Dan?' I shrug my shoulders.  
'If you don't know then you probably don't. Do you love PJ? He's your roommate right?' I shrug again.  
'You're not being very helpful! Lets try this. Say Dan' strange.  
'Dan' I say nonchalantly  
'Now say PJ'  
'PJ' my mouth curves up into a little smile as I think about my green eyed, curly haired roommate.  
'There's your answer!' I think about what she could mean, then come to the realisation. I only smiled when I said PJ.  
'Thats genius! Thank you so much Emma!'  
*End flashback*

I smile, remembering that day well, even though it was a month ago now. It's strange, that one intimate moment in a hospital toilet can change your whole outlook about something. But now The problem is, I have to get over PJ and move onto someone else just like I did with Dan. My life is great.  
I knock on Dans door.  
'Hey Chris. Did you and PJ have a secret baby or something' he laughs, looking down at Oliver.  
'Haha funny. Can we come in? This is Oliver, my nephew' I budge inside.  
'So what's up with PJ then?' I ask.  
'Well, the day they got together was the day me and Phil spent the ay together. We ordered a pizza, and the pizza girl was hitting on Phil, so to get her to go away I pretended to be Phils boyfriend. He was grateful at the time, but when PJ and Phil were in town, apparently she asked about me, and PJ ran off. Phil said he tried to explain but He was having None of it. And it's all my fault' he cries, sobbing lightly into his hands. I hand Oliver his backpack that apparently I picked up but don't remember picking up and lead him into the spare room.  
'Play in here for a bit Olly' I smile and he happily skips into the spare room. I close the door and hug Dan.  
'Why on earth would you think it was your fault?' He looks up at me, his eyes sadder than I'd even seen them.  
'He told me. he hates me now!'I pat him on the back'  
'He's just a little upset, he'll be fine tomorrow!'  
'He called me a cunt, Chris!' I gasp. Phil has never said anything so foul.  
'I don't believe you. Phil would never say that!'  
'He did! I swear!' No, i don't believe this.  
'He would never say something so foul! Stop lying to make yourself seem in the right!' I step away from him and he sobs harder into his hands.  
'He did! Why won't you believe me!' He pleads, and I almost believe him.  
'No, I won't stand for this. This is pathetic. Lying to turn me against my best friend!' i rush into the spare room.  
'Oliver, we're leaving' I shout.

*Dan POV*  
This is what it feels like isn't it? To feel not good enough? Chris hates me. Phil hates me so much that he swore at me, which we both know that he never does. There's no point phoning PJ, he will exile me. I realise I'm just stood in the living room. I look around, not really knowing what to do. I can't play games when I'm feeling like this, there's only one thing for it. I head for the kitchen and grab the key from under the toaster. I unlock the cupboard that I haven't seen in over a year. I pull out the bottle of brown liquid. I unscrew the cap and take a swig. It's been a while since I've tasted it. I retch and pull away from the top. It feels good. I take another swig. And another.  
Before I know what if done I've drank the whole bottle and was opening another one. I haven't drank in over a year, and I haven't drank this much in nearly 3. I open the second and begin to sip. The sharp liquid glides down my throat, burning a bit. The second bottle soon finds itself empty. I stumble to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. My vision might be impaired by the insane amount of alcohol I just ingested, but all I see there is ugly. Just a lanky, ugly, good-for-nothing dick who isn't worth anyone's time. I'm beginning to understand why everyone hates me, because now I hate me too. I raise my fist in the air and punch the mirror. My knuckles begin to bleed but I ignore it. I shout to nobody in particular then grab the alcohol wipes from the first aid box and dab at my knuckles. My head is pounding, my knees are weak and my knuckles are throbbing. I look at my watch. I can just about make out 3:46pm on the small circle on my wrist. Too early to sleep. I take a couple of paracetamol and pour myself a glass of coke and vodka. I take large gulps, drowning my sorrows in alcohol. It's the best way to get rid of unwanted thoughts.

3 coke and vodkas later I'm completely and utterly wankered. I hear a knock at my door, and I stumble weakly to the door.  
'Phiiiily' my words are slurred, and I can just about make out the black haired figure clad in Skinny jeans and a black coat.  
'You're drunk' he says simply.  
'Noooo I'm not!' I giggle. I motion him over. 'Can I tell you a secret?' He stares at me. 'Im drunk'  
'Well observed captain obvious. I was going to apologise but ill wait until tomorrow when you're sober' suddenly the room starts to spin. My stomach churns and I feel like somebody is playing jump rope with my intestines. Everything spins.  
'Excuse me' I say weakly, before running into the bathroom and puking.  
The last words I hear are 'this is what happens when you drink too much'  
Then everything went black.

**not mchapter ****but oh wl, IM TIRED! This author note is probably going to bfull off really bad spelling mistakes but I'm super stired IADR a music video, my YouTube Chanel is I'm a rainbow llama. R&R to make me less tire nod be able toapell ^_^ plus thanks for the 50 recurs 33 means sooooi much!^_^**


	13. Corrected author note from last night

**Sorry about that guys, last night I was super tired. I was trying to say thank you for 50 reviews, and if you want to watch a music video I made my channel is 'I'm a rainbow llama'**

R&R make me less tired and learn how to spell.

Also R&R for McFly in your bed.

Love you guys !

~Georgie'xo~


	14. Final Chapter

*Phil POV*  
I hear a clash. Sighing, I run into the bathroom. Dan is passed out on the floor. I look down at him. I'd better put him in bed. When I bend over to pick him up, I notice his chest isn't moving. I place my two fingers on his neck. No pulse. The next thing I do surprises me, but it's all I really can do. I grab his nose, tilt his head back, and place my lips to his. I breathe into his mouth and pump my hands on his stomach.  
After about 2 minutes he coughs. I sit him up while he's still groggy and dial 999.  
'Hello, how can we help?'  
'I need an ambulance, my friend just passed out and now he's complaining about really bad stomach cramps' I look per at Dan. He's clutching his stomach and crying. Then he falls to the side.  
'I think he passed out again'  
'Check his breathing for me sir?' I do so.  
'he's not breathing' I begin to panic. My voice goes high and squeaky and tears roll down my face. I saved him the first time, who's to say it will work again.  
'Okay sir, calm down. Here's what I want you to do. First if you give me the address that you're at we will get the paramedics there as soon as possible' I give her my address.  
'I know CPR, should I do that?' Tears are still rolling down my face, but I need to put on a brave front. It won't be any good for Dan if I panic and freak out, and I need to save him.  
'That would be great. An ambulance is in it's way. Make sure you keep talking to him, make sure he's awake' I agree and hang up. I lower my face to his again, and do as I did before.  
'Its not working!' I scream at myself. I keep going, nonetheless. After about 3 minutes he coughs again.  
'AUGH!' He shouts.  
'I know Dan, I know' he opens his chestnut eyes and stares into my boring blue ones.  
'Why are you so, so close, close to me?' He breathes out, still clutching at his stomach.  
'You stopped breathing. I saved you Dan' tears stream down both of our faces.  
'Why? We'd, we'd both pref-prefer it if-if I were-were dead' I look at him with disbelief.  
'You didn't do this...on purpose?' What if this is my fault.  
'Ca-calm your ti-tits. I wa-was just having a drink-drinking binge. I- I don't know wh-why I'm in s-so much pa-pain' I look at his hands.  
'What happened to your knuckles Dan' he raises his arm weakly.  
'I got an-angry because I'm ug-ugly, and a-all of my fr-friends hate me, so I pu-punched the mirror' he points to the cabinet, his hand shaking. I look on the floor underneath it. Glass glitters all over the floor. How did I not notice it?  
'How much did you drink?'  
'About tw-two bottles o-of rum a-and four vodka a-and cokes' Jesus thats a lot!  
'Dan! Your head must be pounding!' He shakes his head.  
'I to-took a couple of p-painkillers so my h-head wouldn't hurt' wait...I read somewhere that...oh crap!  
'Dan! The alcohol reacts with pills! That's why your stomach hurts! I read that of you don't treat it as soon as possible you could...' I can't bring myself to say it. I can't let Dan die. I just can't. I feel my body shaking and tears fall down my face. My life is turning into one big episode of eastenders at the moment. He grabs my hand and pulls me in for a hug.  
'I-ill be okay Ph-Phil, I'm a ve-very strong pe-person. Di-did I ever te-tell you about the time th-that I swallowed the fl-fluid from inside a gl-glow stick?' I shake my head. He tells me about when he was about 4, he had a glow stick, and he was chewing it, and all the fluid went into his mouth and he swallowed. The doctor told his parents that there was a 98% chance he wouldn't make it because the chemicals are lethal once inside you, but he survived. Apparently the doctors said it was a miracle. He strokes my hair and keeps my head close to his whilst telling me. Then there's a knock at the door.  
'That'll be the ambulance' I get up and answer the door. They come in and lift Dan onto a stretcher. I follow them out of Dans apartment and down the lift. They lift him into the ambulance and I climb in after them. All the way to the hospital me and Dan were conversing, trying to keep him awake. His hand didn't leave mine once.  
After 10 minutes in the ambulance we arrive at the hospital. We all climb out and run into the ward. I'm told to stay in the waiting room while they operated on him. I sit there, tapping my foot, trying to focus on anything but Dan. I try and phone PJ but he doesn't pick up. Figures. I phone Chris instead.  
'Hey Phil. You'll never guess what Dan said earlier!' He laughs.  
'I don't care about what Dan said! Bring PJ to the hospital now!' I give him the ward number and before he can say anything I've hung up.

*Chris POV*  
'PJ! We need to go to the hospital! Get your ass up out of that room!' He appears in the door of his room, eyes red and puffy.  
'No. I'm not leaving' I sigh.  
'I know, Phil broke your heart, sad sad sad, but he said we need to go to the hospital right now' he looks at me sternly.  
'If Phil tells me to go somewhere i definitely won't. Why do we even need to?' I shrug.  
'He didn't tell me, now get your ass into the car'  
'No!'  
'Right, you've given me no choice' he looks at me, confused. I go over to him and grab him by the waist. I pull him out of the house and into the car, ignoring his weak attempts of escaping. I put him in the car and run back to lock the door. I push him back in as he tried to get out, then get in the drivers seat. Just as he's undoing his belt I drive out of the driveway quickly.  
'I could phone a lawyer!' I laugh at him.  
'And say what? 'My roommate manhandled me into the car so I could go and see my ex boyfriend in the hospital" I laugh again. Out of the corner of my eye I see his mouth twitch into a little smile. It soon drops though.  
'I don't know why I have to go though, I never wanna see that bastard again!' I shake my head.  
'I don't care about what you want to be honest, he sounded pretty shaken up and he may need moral support' I see him shrug.  
'Wait a minute, you told me you didn't like him last month, like, just before you got together?' His face freezes and he tenses up.  
'Well, I mean, you can't just, get rid of feelings that had been built up over twelve years can you?' Hmm, something doesn't quite add up.  
'No, you told me that you got over him because you'd come to terms with the fact that he'd never like you, and you also told me that you didn't want to go out with him. Either you were lying to me then or you're lying to me now. What'll it be, curly?' He sighs. There's been a lot of sighing going on lately.  
'Well I mean, I did get over him kind of. Like I said, if the feelings have been there for twelve years then they're gonna be there for a long time after that. But I kind of got a little crush on someone else who doesn't like me, so I decided that I would just try my hardest to not date, but then Phil kissed me, and even though it felt weird, it was comforting, so I went with it. I wasn't crying because of him when we broke up, I was crying because I felt betrayed by two of my best friends'  
'Who did you have a crush on?' I ask hopefully. I still haven't told him about my feelings for him yet.  
'So what about you and Dan? What happened there?' Why is he changing the subject?  
'Well he broke up with me, I got over it, now I like someone else. Now who did you like?' I talk quickly, I really want to know who he fancied.  
'Who do you fancy?' For Gods sake stop changing the subject!  
'You, now answer me!' Then I realize what I said.  
'Wh-what?' Crap. I've really done it now.  
'Nothing, uh, ignore me' I focus my eyes on the road. I feel his green eyes piercing my skin.  
'You...you have a crush on me?' We arrive at the hospital just as he said it.  
'We're here!' I exit the car and scuttle inside, PJ following behind me. I go to the front desk, tell them where I'm going and walk as quickly as I can to where Phil is sat in the waiting room, tapping his foot. I run up to him and pull him in for a hug.  
'What happened?' I ask him. His eyes fill with tears.  
'Dan. He drunk loads of alcohol then took some painkillers. They reacted in his stomach, and he's in there having surgery. Hi PJ' he says over my shoulder PJ shrugs.  
'PJ, Let me explain.' Phil says softly  
'I don't wanna hear it!' PJ snaps back. An elderly lady looks over in our direction.  
'Sorry' he whispers to her. She nods at him and looks back down at her book. I sit beside Phil and PJ sits beside me.  
'What if he dies, Chris! I never got to apologise!'  
'Apologise? For what?'  
'I called him a... c-u-n-t Chris! I went to his house to apologise because I felt so guilty!' Oh so he was telling the truth!  
'But, you don't ever swear?' He sighs.  
'That's why I felt so guilty'  
'But, why?' PJ looks up, knowing what's about to come.  
'Well this pizza girl was hitting on me, and Dan pretended to be my boyfriend so she would leave, and obviously PJ didn't know this, and I said that it was Dans fault and that's why' a couple of tears roll down PJs face.  
'I had no idea!' PJ pushes past me to hug Phil, but Phil pushes him away.  
'No PJ, you didn't trust me, didn't let me explain' PJ looks down at his hands.  
'Fine' he shrugs. I pull his shoulder and drag him to the toilets.  
'Your just going to let him slip away like th-' I'm interrupted by the feel of his lips on mine. It takes me a while before I realise whats happening, and I pull away.  
'What?' He looks at me, his beautiful green eyes staring into my own mediocre hazel ones.  
'I let him slip away because I found out that you feel the same way about me' what?  
'Oh, okay' then I pull him in for another kiss. We pull apart quickly when the door opens and a guy walks in.  
'Hey, Charlie right?' He nods, sipping his milkshake.  
'You always have milkshake don't you?' He nods again.  
'So, why are you in the hospital this time?' He laughs.  
'My best friend is going out with one of the nurses, and he's picking her up. What about you guys? Phil again?'  
'Dan this time. He did something really stupid' Charlie nods again, understandingly.  
'Well, we better go'  
'Bye guys! Your secret is safe with me' he winks at me. We both blush as we exit the toilets.  
As we arrive back at where Phil was sitting, we see him chatting away to a girl with curly blond hair. I soon notice that it's Carrie. She waves at us then goes back to chatting to Phil. We wander over and she stands up. She waves goodbye, smiles and goes over to who I can only assume is her new boyfriend.  
'What'd she want?' I ask nicely.  
'Just to be friends and stuff. The usual ex girlfriendy stuff' I set beside him and rub his back.  
'Any news on Dan?'  
'Nothing. What if he's not okay! What if he's not part on the 5% that survives this stuff?!' His eyes fill with tears again, and his head flops down to his hands.  
'He meant a lot to you huh?' I stroke his hair. He nods sadly.  
'You two are the only people I've ever been properly close to, so to have someone like Dan come into my life, that's a big deal' the doctor comes out right at that moment. This is it. The moment of truth.  
'The surgery was a complete success, God only knows how he survived this one, but he must have had something to pull through for! He's under sedation right now so he's pretty much out, but you can go in and see him' Phil jumps straight out of his chair.  
'Thank you, Doctor!' He smiles widely, runs into the room and sits on the armchair next to Dans bed. Dan eyes are half open, and he turns his head to face Phil.

*Dan POV*  
My whole body aches. My eyes open slowly. I'm so tired. I hear someone come in, so I turn my head slowly to the side. Phil, Chris and PJ all walk in. Phil sits on the chair beside me, and PJ and Chris sit on the two chairs at the end of the room.  
'Hi' I smile at him. He smiles back and his eyes fill with teas. He hugs me hard.  
'I thought I'd lost you!' I wrap my arm around his neck and cry into his shoulder. Someone clears there throat behind us.  
'Im sorry to disturb, which one of you phoned us from home?' Phil steps forward.  
'That was me' he beckons me forward.  
'Can you come with me please?' Then Phil follows him out of the room.  
'Hi, Dan' Chris and PJ stand either side of the bed. I try and sit up but my stomach is in too much pain, so I scrap that idea.  
'Hi guys. Why are you here? You guys hate me' Chris smiles at me.  
'We don't. Phil explained what happened. Plus he didn't tell us it was you in the hospital' I smile.  
'Well, thanks anyway'

*Phil POV*  
'As you know, Dans condition is quite bad, so we are going to keep him here overnight to monitor his health. What is your relationship with him?'  
'He's my best friend' I reply.  
'Oh, I assumed you were... Anyway i just wanted to say that it's a good thing that you got there when you did. If you hadn't have phoned when you did, and if you hadn't have performed CPR when you did he probably wouldn't have made it. You saved his life, son' I...I saved his life?  
'Wh-what?'  
'Well done! Now go back in there' I walk back in, speechless at what I was just told.  
'Hi Phil! You look like you've seen a ghost!' Chris laughs.  
'What? Oh I'm fine, they said they're going to keep you in overnight to monitor your progress, you should be allowed home tomorrow!' He smiles up at me weakly.  
'Guys, can you leave me and Phil alone for a minute please?' He croaks out. Chris and PJ nod and exit the room.  
'Hi Phil. Listen, I wasn't lying when I said I didn't do this on purpose. But I did start drinking on purpose. I just felt like everyone was against me. I turned to the drink like a coward' he wipes his eyes and sniffs.  
'Your not a coward, and you should know that I would never be funny against you! I'm sorry I called you a name' guilt still resides in my stomach from the use of foul language, but now I feel like the boy in the bed is of my doing.  
'Its okay, it's just that, over the past month, I've kind of, developed these, feelings that I can't really explain, but it's like, whenever I see you, I just smile and my stomach goes all tingly. Smooth Dan, admitting your love for another person in a hospital' he says. He...he loves me? I would never have guessed! Well, talk about trying something new. I lean over and place a quick peck on his lips. He looks surprised. It actually felt really nice. His lips are softer than PJ's  
'What?' He says quietly.  
'That was really sweet Dan' my mouth hurts from smiling.  
'So Phil...what does this make us?'  
'Whatever you want this to make us!'  
'So are we like...b...boy...'  
'Yes. Yes we are' he smiles widely and I do the same.  
'I'm sorry Phil. For everything. Ever since I walked into your life it's been nothing but a weird mess!'  
'Thats okay' I lean down and kiss him.  
'Normal's boring'

**the end! I'm quite sad that this is ending! It's been so much fun to write, and all of your super sweet reviews make it all worth it! I might do a sequel soon but for now *sobs* this is goodbye**

**waaaaah!**

**Love you always! ~Georgie'xo~**


	15. Another author note

**Hi guys! This is obviously not an update, as I'm finished this story, I'm just letting you know that if you haven't seen it, there is a sequal on my account that I started a while ago, but not all of you might have seen it**

**This will be all :) **

**Love always,**

**~Georgie'xo~**


End file.
